Sunday, January 27, 2013

Tea Party Rampage

A gathering of Tea Party loyalists were thrown into a tizzy today when it was reported on a local Fox affiliate  that President Obama was secretly working on plans to incorporate Mexico as the Nation's 51st state. It was also reported that the President was preparing to annex Kenya, pardon Bernie Madoff and pose semi nude for Mother Jones Magazine.   Images of President Obama were burned in effigy although "in good taste" noted a local councilman who refused to give his name or be photographed because  the white sheet he was wearing was soiled with the residue of ashes "I am a bit vain" he said sheepishly" . Police officers assigned to the gathering were pelted with fresh tomatoes wrestled from an emaciated Mexican  "I worked for 14 hours picking those things now my boss won't pay me my $2.48. Adios Mio, what am I to do?"At least 49 arrests were made including Pam Striker, a trice divorced mother of 16 and grandmother of 48. She was charged with striking a police officer with a sign that read "My medicare comes from G-d, F--k the government". Order was finally restored when a large flock of sheep were spotted on a nearby hilltop sending the majority of the Tea Party's male flock into an amorous frenzy that culminated in one of the largest sheep-chases since the Emancipation Proclamation.
Said Sheriff Baker, in charge of security for the event"I feel damn sorry for those sheep"