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Monday, February 25, 2013

Britain To Stick With Austerity Plan

Government officials in the U.K. re avowed their commitment to austerity, this after Moody's tore away the country's AAA rating dropping it to Aa1. U.K. leaders, following a prolonged meeting yesterday with top economic advisers from Greece pointed out that while such countries as the United States could afford 70% obesity rates, bloated mortgages and trips to Yankee Stadium, the U.K. had to learn to restrain itself from similar extravagance's. Finance Minister George Osborn (half-brother to rock icon Ozzy) paraphrasing America's  ex-president George Bush's commitment to the war in Iraq, said " Britain has to stick to the course and we will".
Reaction to the Minister's comments came fast and quick. "Holy crap!", screamed John Sterling a Piccadilly apple vendor, "losing half my pension to these damned austerity measures was tough but when our finance minister starts sounding like George Bush, well now they've gone too far!". The family of the great George Orwell posted an angry response to the finance minister's statements, " George spent his life trying to improve the English language and there you go, borrowing an expression from a man with the intelligence of an ape pissing down a tree". Mr. Osborne when asked by reporters what his reaction was to the uproar surrounding his recent comments responded by grabbing his crotch and scowling "Yo, tell them I said to suck this".