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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Pope Quits, Joan Rivers Eyed as Cause

Pope Benedict XVI shocked the Catholic world when he announced his resignation on Monday. He attributed his decision to "advanced age". But what has really sent tongues wagging are reports that he came to his momentous decision shortly following a meeting with New York's Queen of the Yentas, Joan Rivers. His Holiness was heard to remark to a nearby cardinal during the visit "hey, that Jewish broad got a lot of pep in her". Onlookers were further shocked to see Ms. Rivers leaving the Vatican at 5 a.m. makeup smeared and clothes in disarray. When cornered by Italian journalists the next day the characteristically talkative Rivers seemed pensive and little in the mood for conversation. Her only comment was "leave us alone you greaseball bastards". Vatican officials hotly deny any connection between Ms. Rivers meeting with Benedict XVI and his decision to abdicate the papacy.
More on this developing story to come.