Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Austerity Measures in Europe Working Says Lucifer

In a press conference from deep inside the bowels of Hell, Lucifer congratulated Euro zone members for austerity measures that have kept the pits of Hades constantly ablaze with the addition of new souls . "I myself could not have dreamed up a more perfect scenario. Why I'm having to pay my lower devils double and triple overtime just to keep up with the new arrivals each day". The Devil said that austerity measures heaped on countries like Spain, Greece, Portugal, Italy, etc... have made the Zone a veritable "hell-on-earth". "19 million people out of work, a quarter of the population under 25 jobless, grinding poverty, no growth in the economy, no hope of things getting any better. All these combined should keep Me running at top capacity for years to come!".
When asked if He had eyes on those that have insisted on pushing these austerity measures, the King of Darkness responded, "In the end I'll get them. They'll be much more fun. Why? Well you of see the hoards coming now most have such horrible lives that they really can't tell the difference between Hell and Earth.Many find they're way here in search of money to buy food for they're children or pay their rent. Let's face it, their desperate and without hope. but members of the Troika live good, eat well and grunt as they watch others misery. I get them by surprise, I really enjoy that. And I've got a special place just for them". The Devil than turned to his right and pointed out a large imposing structure that resembled a prison but wrapped in a swirl of fire and debris, "look there, read the sign over the entrance" looking over I squinted and felt a shiver down my spine. The sign read "THIS HOLE OF HELL RESERVED FOR MEMBERS OF THE IMF, EUROPEAN CENTRAL  BANK, AND EUROPEAN COMMISSION.