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Saturday, April 6, 2013

Enough is Enough! Kim jong un Becoming A Real Pain in The Ass

I think that Kim Jong un has become on of the world's biggest pain's in the ass. Every time some little fourteen year old school girl catches his eye he pretends to go on the warpath in hopes she will  become so enamored with him, that she'll, in Rod Stewart's famous words, "spread your wings and let me cum inside". He has been known to go to great lengths to impress the ladies. For example, one night Shin mi up, a local high school sophomore was sitting with Kim watching  a biography of Pope John Paul II when the camera crew panned the gold leafed Sistine chapel. Shin, impressed by the beauty of the place crooned "wow, what a beautiful building". Turning around she saw Kim's face flush with anger. A moment later Kim demanded a telephone from one of his emaciated servants, Telephone  delivered, Kim propped it up in his lap and dialed the operator. The following conversation, translated into English for our American readers went something like this:
"Hello operator, gimme the Vatican" Kim said sternly as he watched the young lady's eyes widen in awe
Operator: '" Do you mean the Vatican in Italy'

"No" screamed Jong at the startled operator, "the damned Vatican in Teaneck New Jersey"
'OK. OK calm your ass down a bit,my friend"

"Do you know who you are speaking to operator, I'm am the leader of North Korea'
"Do you know who you are speaking to,sir" began the operator, "Shirley Taylor from the Bronx who may or may not put your phone call through (and in a barely audible voice)  white motherfucker.
I am Korean, not white' Kim shot back
"White, gook you'll look the same to me" Shirley answered before putting him through to the Vatican.
Ring! Ring! " Hello you reacha the Vatican, how is it that I can helpa you?
I am Kim Jong un leader of north Korea. I want to speak to the Pope!
"Kim Jong un? Wasn't it you father who threatened to destroy the United a States with a catapult? What happened? Did they put him inna the place witha the softa walls".
"No, he died' answered the Korean prince"
"Ah, that's to bad. Hey, are you ubotz like you father"
'What was that?" answered Jong
'Marrone, hah, hah. Don't worry about it. As a far as speaking to the pope, it is impossible right now. He is washing the feet of the construction workers that are putting inna the new toilets right a now.'
Turning to the young lady Kim continued " well tell your boss that because of past atrocities against the Korean people I have decided to fire a rocket that will crush the Sistine chapel and turn it into the world's holiest parking lot" with this Kim's girlfriend began to breath heavy as she reached up and removed her panties from under her short skirt. Kim, enthralled with the spectacle initially did not hear the voice of the Vatican official trying to get his attention.
"What! What! Kim answered with sullen tone in his voice.
"Scusa, did a you say you was gonna make a parking  alot out of the Vatican' asked the Vatican official
'That is correct, you miserable peasant!
'Coulda you please hold on for un momento please"
'Sure" Kim answered, ' but it better not be long'
A moment later Kim heard a different voice come up on the other side of the receiver
"Is this Kim Jong un?" asked a gravelly voice with the weird accent .
"Yes it is, the one and only" answered Kim as to his delight his young lady had knelled down in front of him, her right hand deftly tugging at his pants zipper
The man with the gruff voice began to speak, suddenly Kim began to turn pale and his little girlfriend soon found herself holding a replica of a wet noodle.
The gruff voice spoke up ' listen you gook piece of shit, who the fuck do you think your threatening. I'll come over there and use you as a new ornament for my Cadillac you scumbag. Just remember, your getting a pass right now. See what the fuck we did to Kennedy and his buddy Hoffa.. Call this number again and you won't have enough nuclear weapons to save yourself. Fuggedaboutit!
Kim, sweating profusely ordered all lights to be turned off and all doors to be looked. Looking down and seeing his little girlfriend still sitting there in amazement, he screamed, Your still here! Get the fuck out!