Teens across the nation have found that the small type on bottles of hand sanitizer that reads "62% alcohol" really means 62% alcohol or 120 proof. School officials became suspicious after most of their filthiest students began to become preoccupied with catching virus and repeatedly asked, sometimes 15 times a day to be excused so they could go to the hallway and sanitize their hands. Many would come back seemingly refreshed and smirking. "We have seen more instances of children ingesting hand sanitizer than we have seen of LSD being passed around on chewing gum paper". School officials are at a loss of what to replace the sanitizers with. One official brought up the idea to replace them with bottles of beer which contain only 6% alcohol. At least one school district in Tupelo, Kansas is considering the idea.