Saturday, May 25, 2013

Man Refuses Back Surgery. His Astounding Excuse

Jim Bloodwell has spent the past twenty-seven years unable to stand straight but bent forward at a 43 degree angle following an accident at work when a 400 pound rump of beef knock him off his feet while working the packaging line at ACME MEAT Packing. Seems  his partner in line forget to yell out "Here she comes!". Mr. Bloodwell was in traction for over a month until he was released from the hospital. It was then that Mr. Bloodwell found that he had more of a bend in him than a spoon worked on by Uri Gellar. For a while Mr. Bloodwell went through the usual emotions of anger, sadness, embarrassment and anger. then one day he picked up a book that changed his life. "The Power of Positive Thinking". Reading this book changed his life. Every day he would look for something that he knew was just within reach. He smiled, he whistled, he strolled down the street at his untoward angle in search of that certain something he knew was going to change his life. And then one day it happened! While crossing the street one day to buy a bag of tomatoes lo and behold, what did he see? A crisp, new $10 bill laying right there by the curb! That was it! It all came to him with the speed of light. It was God's plan that he be hit by that half ton of beef so that he could from then on walk at such a bent angle that he would become rich by finding money in the street! And rich he did become. Over the past 15 years he has found a total of close to two hundred thousand dollars walking bent over throughout the streets of New York City. He even refused his doctor's referral to an orthopedic surgeon who could have helped him walk upright again. "How the hell could I. I have no trade, I'm too old to start one and best of all I'm still finding money in the street. Just yesterday I found $64 just walking out my front door to throw my trash out!
Today, Mr.Bloodwell lives on the ground floor of a graceful Tudor City building, has someone comes in 4 times a week to clean and lives a content, comfortable life. "My friends are always cracking jokes on me, I should straighten myself out, I should try a V8. But I just laugh it all off, especially as I make my way to the bank to make my latest deposit" he said with a wry smile.