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Sunday, August 24, 2014

Suge Knight Shot 6 Times and Lives Confirming Him As Perpetrator

Former Capo di tutti Capo of Hip-Hop Surge Knight was shot in LA during a pre-VMA party. Reports are that Mr.Knight walked from the club and into a police car to await paramedics despite 6 gunshot wounds to his upper torso. He is now in critical but stable condition at a local hospital following surgery.
I asked Dr. Hackenbush, noted trauma criminologist about the proclivity of someone being shot that many times and surviving.
Mr.Hackenbush:
" Our team did a study of 217,000 shootings over the past 3 years in several American cities and found that anyone loosely defined as a perpetrator ( someone actually convicted or suspected of committing a variety of crimes) had a 917% better  chance of surviving an attack than another not named as or thought to be a perpetrator. Some examples include:
The rapper 50 Cent shot 9 times and survives while on the same day a police officer dies after a bullet fragment hit his big right toe causing an infection that eventually caused his death;

Man with an arrest record long enough to circle the earth 3 times jumps from a tenth story window to escape police is caught 6 blocks away after his pants got caught while climbing a fence. Almost at the same time a man spits in the air on 59st and Columbus Ave in New York City and hits a cab driver in the eye causing him to lose control of his can running down and killing 3 Jehovas' witnesses standing on the corner.
These cases and thousands more only prove that for some reason those with a lean towards criminality survive devastating injuries while those who follow the law of the land can't even spit without causing a disaster"