Monday, November 30, 2015
Obama Sells Soul to Devil; Iran Prospects Improve
Rumors are swirling in Hades that President Obama invited the Dark One himself to a midnight breakfast at the White House just prior to the announcement of his deal with Iran. Unnamed sources state a visitor arrived one night several months ago at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He was described as approximately 7.5 feet tall with fiery eyes and a blood-red skin complexion. He and Obama spoke for approximately 3 hours before the towering visitor asked to use the bathroom. Shortly after staff heard a loud "pop" and began to smell sulfa. Upon breaking down the door they found the bathroom empty except for a copy of Machiavelli's "The Prince" written in crayon.