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Saturday, November 28, 2015

Turkey's President Recep Tayyip Erdogan now says that he is deeply "saddened" by his country's downing of a Russian fighter plane that entered Turkey's airspace, zipping around for 17 long seconds several days ago.
This is in contrast to the statement he made approximately 17 hours ago warning Russia " not to play with fire" by interfering in Syria's civil war.
According to unnamed insiders from the Turkish government Mr. Erdoban awoke just a few hours ago with a terrible hangover. Staff advised him of the comments he had made before passing out at a Hooka Bar in downtown Istanbul. Mr. Edrogen's response was "I SAID WHAT!!!!!" "Are you f--king kidding me!". Turkey's President then chased down the first journalist he could find and begged him to report of his "sadness" regarding the downed Russian plane. The reporter tried to explain to the President that he worked for the satirical newspaper The Onion. Erdogen replied 'I don't care if you sell oranges, just get this out before I'm president of the largest parking lot in the world!". Fortunately the reporter's brother-in-law is a mail room clerk at an NBC affiliate in Istanbul and a crisis was averted.