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Monday, November 30, 2015

1st Time Jenner Met Kanye West: "Just The Furniture" (A blast from the past)

Kayne West was madder than an alcoholic without a can opener recently. It seems that Kayne dropped over unexpectedly at the Kardasian house and was met at the door by Bruce Jenner. Now Bruce, who had only met Kayne once and didn't recognize him welcomed him in the home and said something like "just the furniture needs a little polishing and the rugs need to be vacuumed. Kayne, not thinking anything of it grabbed a rag and started on the furniture. It took about ten seconds to realize what was going on. According to sources who would not reveal their names out of fears they'd be fired, Kayne turned around angrily and said "Hey you!Yeah you, ya plastic-faced looking motherf---er,I aint come here to dust no fu--in furniture!". With that Jenner threw his hands up in the air and said "Oh my God it's a robbery! Everyone cooperate! Give the man what he wants and he'll leave us alone!" Kanye West, shaking his head in disbelieve shot back at Jenner, "Look ya liily-white motherf--ker I could afford to buy you and not sell you. Keep you like like a house pet. Listen I'm getting pissed off. My name is Kanye West and I'm here to pick up your fat-assed daughter Kim". Just then Chloe came down stairs and indeed confirmed to her father that the man standing in his living room was there to pick up Kim. Bruce Jenner, overwhelmed with embarrassment then clumsily asked Kayne if he wanted something to drink, apologizing for not having any 40's in the frig. Kayne, who had enough just turned to Khloe and asked her to tell Kim to meet him outside in the car.

Obama Sells Soul to Devil; Iran Prospects Improve



Rumors are swirling in Hades that President Obama invited the Dark One himself to a midnight breakfast at the White House just prior to the announcement of his deal with Iran. Unnamed sources state a visitor arrived one night several months ago at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. He was described as approximately 7.5 feet tall with fiery eyes and a blood-red skin complexion. He and Obama spoke for approximately 3 hours before the towering visitor asked to use the bathroom. Shortly after staff heard a loud "pop" and began to smell sulfa. Upon breaking down the door they found the bathroom empty except for a copy of Machiavelli's "The Prince" written in crayon.

The REAL Reason For The Refugee Crisis: What The MSM Won't Tell You!

Imagine, refugees leaving a Muslim country to try their luck in a land so broke that its people thank God oxygen is free?
Turkish police today rounded up hundreds of Syrian and other refugees as they tried to embark on a journey to Greece. I found this incredible at first but after thinking about it a while I'm starting to understand it. These refugees are not leaving their native Muslim countries because of war and strife. They are leaving because, to tell it bluntly not even Muslims want to live in Muslim countries. Why else would these people want to leave Turkey for a country that their patron saint, Angela Merkel left so poverty stricken that its people consider an invasion of locusts a boom for the country's food supply?
All I can say is this whole Middle East thing gets more complicated by the day and there appears no end in site.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Cops probe man's anus for 14 hours and find Sh-t! (One of my favorite posts from 2 years ago).


A Deming, New Mexico was put through a 14 hour rectal exam by police after he was pulled over for going through a stop sign. Police on the scene became suspicious when a drug sniffing dog seemed to indicate that there was drug residue on the seat where the driver had shortly before been seated. Police at that time also seemed to notice that the driver was "holding his butt checks squeezed together". That was all the evidence  police needed. The driver was taken to a local hospital where they demanded of the medical staff that they perform a digital inspection of the driver's rectum. The doctor in charge, described by one of the officers as "a pinko, commie tree hugger, Obama lover" refused to go along with the officers on the absurd grounds that such an exam would be "unethical". Rather than shoot the doctor dead for his seemingly hostile answer to their request, police than transported the man to another hospital where staff was more accommodating to the officers requests. How accommodating were they? Well they performed 3 digital rectal exams, inserted 3 enemas into his rectum, each time which the driver was forced to defecate in front of police. They took x-rays of his abdomen. All came up negative for drugs. Did this deter the police? Not yet! The driver was then forced to undergo a colonoscopy where a camera was inserted in his rectum and then pushed into his colon and intestines, again in a failed attempt to find drugs. To add insult to injury the driver was then billed by the hospital for the procedures they forced upon him! The man is now suing the police department for the violation of the his civil rights.
As hard as it is to believe this is a true story! This actually happened! A man's body and dignity were violated by a group of what could only be described as a group of sadomasochists with badges and guns! Again, like the roadside cavity searches undergone by females during car stops in Texas and the forced blood draws in Georgia, there is no public outrage surrounding this incident. People are not shocked by instances like these. Why? I feel it's because most Americans think themselves as immune from such incidents, a sense of " nothing like that can ever happen to me". Well guess what?If you drive a car, walk down the street or even sing too loud in the shower, it can happen to you. 

Chicago Gang Member Charged In Execution Of 9 Year Old Child. Not An Activist In Sight



                                                    Cook County's sheriff's office

Gang banger Corey Morgan was arrested for the execution-style murder of Tyshawn Lee, a 9 year old boy who had been lured into an alley and shot point-blank in the head and back. It seems Morgan was trying to send a message to one of the boy's relatives, himself a gang member.
 Activists were quick to respond ".........". Well to tell the truth there were not many activists to be found except the poor kid's mother and some City officials.

What the f--k does that tell you?!

Media Crucifies Trump Over Memory Of Celebrating Muslims. Hillary's Amnesia Remains Unquestionable.

The media is having a field day busting Donald Trumps balls over whether Muslims in America celebrated the attacks on the World Trade Center. As for me, I didn't see any maybe because I was there providing medical care to other first responders. Why don't we ask The Washington Post or CNN.
At the same time why not ask about the difference between celebrating and murderous Muslims? Why not ask Hillary?

Turkey Makes Stupid Decision. Now pay The Consequences

Why would Turkish officials shoot down a Russian fighter plane that wandered into its airspace for a grand total of 17 seconds? Could it just be a case of schizophrenia coupled with hubris? Someone trying to put a scare into Putin (LMFAO!)? A suicide pact between high ranking Turkey officials? Most laughable, Turkey's membership in NATO where "an attack on one is an attack on all" including the United States led by a president who still fears monsters in his closet? We'll never know but one thing is sure Turkey screwed itself big time. How?:

* Turkey is Russia's 2nd largest trading partner.

*Russian tourists visit Turkey to the tune of 2.9 million a year spending over $3 billion.

*Turkey gets 50% of its natural gas and 30% of its oil from Russia.

*Turkey exports billions of dollars in agriculture and other food products to Russia each year.

* Souring relations could cause Turkey to suffer a 10% or more drop in GDP if Russia got really pissed at them and curtailed all of the above.

Again I ask, who was the imbecile that gave the green light to shoot down that Russian fighter jet? Find him, give him US citizenship and let him run for Congress. We love electing morons to office. It's our national pastime.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Trump, The Elephant and The Confession




Donald Trump, the frequent target of a media posse that would dig to China to find something on him is under fire for using an elephant at a rally which is owned by a man convicted of animal abuse. Trump had no comment about the animal but did confess to once using a pen that belonged to Charles Manson's 14th cousin Marilyn to sign a lease at Trump Plaza in New York. Said Trump "I asked if someone had a pen and some creepy looking guy handed one to me. I had no idea who he was related to". "Since that time" Trump said" I use only pencils that haven't been sharpened yet, just in case"
Turkey's President Recep Tayyip Erdogan now says that he is deeply "saddened" by his country's downing of a Russian fighter plane that entered Turkey's airspace, zipping around for 17 long seconds several days ago.
This is in contrast to the statement he made approximately 17 hours ago warning Russia " not to play with fire" by interfering in Syria's civil war.
According to unnamed insiders from the Turkish government Mr. Erdoban awoke just a few hours ago with a terrible hangover. Staff advised him of the comments he had made before passing out at a Hooka Bar in downtown Istanbul. Mr. Edrogen's response was "I SAID WHAT!!!!!" "Are you f--king kidding me!". Turkey's President then chased down the first journalist he could find and begged him to report of his "sadness" regarding the downed Russian plane. The reporter tried to explain to the President that he worked for the satirical newspaper The Onion. Erdogen replied 'I don't care if you sell oranges, just get this out before I'm president of the largest parking lot in the world!". Fortunately the reporter's brother-in-law is a mail room clerk at an NBC affiliate in Istanbul and a crisis was averted.

Things Get Ugly At "Mr.Ugly" Contest


Photo compliments Associated Press

Chaos erupted at Zimbabwe's Mr.Ugly Pageant following claims the this year's winner, Mison Sere, wasn't ugly enough to unseat the reigning title holder, William Masvinu.  The pageant, in it's 4th year judges contestants on such qualities as "Can scare animals out of the forest", " Not even his mother could love him", "The doctor slapped both his mother and him" erupted after supporters of Mr. Sere claimed that Masvinu was chosen only because of lack of dental care which gave many the impression of an old, rusted picket fence when he smiled. "I'm much uglier than him. Only when he opens his mouth is he ugly" pined Mr.Masvinu who not only complained about the loss of the pageant but also the $500 that goes to the winner. Sere responded " He's only jealous because I'm uglier than him".
Officials state that due to the events surrounding the Mr. Ugly pageant security will be increased at next week's Ms. Skank pageant,  honoring the skankiest woman alive in Zimbabwe. Last year's winner, Ms. Lovein told reporters "I'm not worried. I'm already ahead of last year's 18 recorded STD's with 24".

Friday, November 27, 2015

9 Year Old Executed in Chicago. Hear the Silence From Activists.



Police in Chicago announced the arrest of a 9 year-old boy shot to death in Chicago. No he wasn't some innocent bystander caught in the crossfire while walking to school or at a play ground. NO! This child was lured into an alleyway and EXECUTED, shot in the face and in the back by some miscreant as retaliation for a family member who is a gang member. You would think such a heinous act like this would have caused an uproar with people marching in the street, blocking traffic, demanding something be done? Not a damned chance. But let some guy with a rap sheet long enough to wallpaper your house get shot by some cop and all of a sudden the community is under attack, so called "activists" come out of the woodwork, create nifty sounding #groups, and uproar and chaos is created. And this ain't coming from some white dude living in a mansion in Scardsdale,  in his parent's basement listening to AC/DC blaring from a $10,000 dollar sound system while playing video games. I worked in an inner city area in NY as a paramedic for 20 years. I treated thousands of men, women and children for gunshot wounds, stabbings, beatings, you name it. I remember distinctly one call where I turned a man laying prone on the street whose face was so mangled that I stood up and yelled at the crowd "How the fuck could anyone do this to another human being?" I don't recall one case where what I came upon sparked any type of outrage or demonstration (disclaimer: I loved working there, there were so many decent, hardworking people I felt a part of the community, like it was my home).
Now let's take a look at another case that has taken Chicago by storm, the police shooting of 17 year old Laquan McDonald shot 16 times by a Chicago cop: the cop was arrested , charged with 1st degree murder and will be tried. He'll have a damned hard time refuting events in that video. But still the outrage continues, the so called "activists" will take time off from playing video games to entice an even bigger bunch of fools to follow them and a new breed of ambulance chasers, namely the press will be hot on their heels publicizing every ridiculous statement they find the brain power to utter. Meanwhile, an innocent 9 year old lies cold in a grave with only 5-10 people stepping up to give his soul a bit of justice.
To all you out there, look in the eyes of this child and explain to him why no outrage at his death? Where are all the "activists" calling for "something to be done". WHY DOES HIS LIFE NOT MATTER!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Fence Jumper At White House. Rubio Rumor False "Fence Too High"

A person hopped the fence at the White House just a little while ago and was quickly apprehended. Early reports that it was Marc Rubio discounted by authorities stating the fence was too high for Lil Marc to get over

Roubaix, France : Shots fired, hostages taken

Reports coming in state hostages being held in town of Roubaix, France with shots being fired. Initial reports claim possible robbery gone awry. More to come.

Friday, November 20, 2015

New Study: Money Can Buy Happiness! Psychiatrists Overjoyed

It turns out that the old adage - espoused by many and believed by none - that money can't buy happiness has been debunked. A Harvard Professor  found that people who can afford things that are transient, "experiences" as she puts it are generally happier than those that cannot. People who spend freely on "Experiences" such as vacations, eating out with friends, visiting new friends who charge by the hour for their time... were generally happier than those who could only afford "things", such as food, shelter and the occasional Craigslist shopping spree that involves haggling a seller of a $30  watch down to $3.50. To quote:
"Because experiences disappear, they let us make up a reality that was amazing and wonderful, and they make us happier," than stuff, Norton said.
So in a sense what she really means here is that money can indeed buy happiness in ways that leave us delusional and perhaps borderline schizophrenic 

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Meek Mill vs Drake: Ebonic Rappers

Well its certainly surprising to me to see Meek Mill still above ground breathing oxygen. I mean Tupac definitely was not Meek, but as is said, that the way the sh-t goes.
Anyway I've been reading a lot of the back and forth tweets and I'll be damned if I can't make out half of what is said or who is even saying it:

Meek Mill @MeekMill
Stop comparing drake to me too…. He don’t write his own raps! That’s why he ain’t tweet my album because we found out!
6:46 AM – 22 Jul 2015
Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/2529995/nicki-minaj-and-bf-meek-mill-about-to-give-drake-a-major-headache/#ZAxFiQpylousQeQ3.99
There's:

We really only focusing on making it out that’s the only war we fighting. I’m not entertaining no rap/real beef over drake s/o rapper! I can’t fall for the oldest trick in the book and I never shoulda entertained it bcuz it won’t bring me no money or success… Everybody know everybody watching and anything beyond what’s going on is stupid to b reacting on about a bunch of n***as just tryna get on and in the game..I been in these streets having money for a long time now “shining hard” and need had a problem with I came up from nothing and my name good.”
Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/2529995/nicki-minaj-and-bf-meek-mill-about-to-give-drake-a-major-headache/#ZAxFiQpylousQeQ3.99
Now I'm completely lost.

I'll try one more:

Meek Mill clowns Drake dancing in Hotline Bling ... "You won't have me looking like Drake.. I'm a Gangsta"
Forget it. This is like trying to study for an exam written in Ebonics. Guess I'll just have to wait for the police blotter reports to get the whole story

BTW: Hit spell check before I hit the publish key damn screen lit up brighter than the Sun.

Can someone help me Identify these photos