Thursday, December 29, 2016

Expect Egg Prices To Skyrocket Due To Avian Flu

I'm no finance expert but I know a little bit about the law of Supply and Demand. All around the world chickens are being culled as if some grand Clucking Inquisition has begun. Millions of chickens have been culled in Asia and Europe over the past several weeks due to an array of different Avian Influenza viruses. In South Korea the price of eggs has already risen 30%. The country is set to decrease tariffs on imported eggs to meet growing demand. So look at any stock with any connection to chickens or eggs {whichever comes first} to jump like crazy.

Monday, December 26, 2016

I write whatever the F--k I want!

I was reading a book about how to create a successful blog. One way was to find a "niche" to write about. So I started to think:

" A niche? A niche? What could I come up with that would be my niche?".

Then it came to me like a bolt of lightening out of a clear blue sky! "I got it! My Niche!"

"I'll write about whatever the F--K I want to write about!".

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Gonna go out and rent me a Jew!

From the land that brought us Angela Merkel and the tidal wave of immigrants that are currently eating away the EU like termites a dying tree, Germany now brings you Rent a Jew. That's right ladies and gents, Rent a Jew!. With far-right nationalists and Neo-Nazi's gaining more and more adherents someone came up with the idea to Rent a Jew so as to become more familiar with the Hebrew culture and to show that the average Jew is just an all around nice guy.
Thing is I have a few problems with the whole concept, namely:

Who is the one that really looks bad here the person who rents the Jew or the Jew that allows himself to be rented?

How are the renters screened. I mean I can imagine a bunch of skin heads drunk off their asses sitting around without much to do, bored as Hell. Commercial break comes on "Hey, are you bored? Want to learn about another culture? Than call us at 1 800 RT A Jew and soon you'll be eating bagals, lox and Manischevits"
Damned world is insane and getting worse every day.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Kim Jong-un Orders Military Staff To Write Confessions.. Excerpts Here! Exclusive

Kim Jong-un dictator of North Korea, drunk as a summer day is long ordered his top military staff to stay up all night writing confessions of treason to the state. Now right off your thinking "those guys must have been shaking in their pants" sure of a quick,certain death. But surprise!, that was not the case. You see these generals are familiar with Lucifer Jong-un's propensity to drink as if he was trying to empty the Ghanges. They were also well aware of  Jung's propensity for losing,also known in North Korea as "drunken blackout". Kim would drink till he passed out losing all memory of the night before. So as the Prince drifted off into an alcohol-poisoned coma, they began writing their confessions... on how they felt about the bouffant-challenged leader:

" Sleep well my you burn in the deepest part of Hell. That's right, Trenton New Jersey!"

Another wrote " Put him in the cornfield! Put him in the cornfield"

Another " I have great respect for you my leader. Yo mama too. The way she takes that donkey from behind is too amazing for words"

"I replaced your Outback ribs with a 7 year old Labrador who died of gonorrhea"

"Your father was a great man. Especially when he was taking on 8 young men during "Gang Bang the King Fridays" at Chuckie without Cheese's"

Relieved and less resentful, the leaders stood together chukling and burned the letters together in a Cheerios bowl plastered with a picture of Dennis Rodman before Kim awakened