Thursday, December 15, 2016

Kim Jong-un Orders Military Staff To Write Confessions.. Excerpts Here! Exclusive

Kim Jong-un dictator of North Korea, drunk as a summer day is long ordered his top military staff to stay up all night writing confessions of treason to the state. Now right off your thinking "those guys must have been shaking in their pants" sure of a quick,certain death. But surprise!, that was not the case. You see these generals are familiar with Lucifer Jong-un's propensity to drink as if he was trying to empty the Ghanges. They were also well aware of  Jung's propensity for losing,also known in North Korea as "drunken blackout". Kim would drink till he passed out losing all memory of the night before. So as the Prince drifted off into an alcohol-poisoned coma, they began writing their confessions... on how they felt about the bouffant-challenged leader:

" Sleep well my you burn in the deepest part of Hell. That's right, Trenton New Jersey!"

Another wrote " Put him in the cornfield! Put him in the cornfield"

Another " I have great respect for you my leader. Yo mama too. The way she takes that donkey from behind is too amazing for words"

"I replaced your Outback ribs with a 7 year old Labrador who died of gonorrhea"

"Your father was a great man. Especially when he was taking on 8 young men during "Gang Bang the King Fridays" at Chuckie without Cheese's"

Relieved and less resentful, the leaders stood together chukling and burned the letters together in a Cheerios bowl plastered with a picture of Dennis Rodman before Kim awakened